Fruit of the Gods, strained relationships

I’ve got nobody to blame but myself. I’m to honest for my own good I find. My guilt never leaves me. Never. To me women must be like a drug, perhaps visa-versa as well. Either way, I hate the obsession I get when the 3 months pass. (Yes when they’ve passed.) I’m not like most people, I love fast, I fall in-love hard. And after such honeymoon phase, I feel as if I’m doing all the loving.

Call me a Sub, if you must! It’s not always like that. I just wish I had a perfect match. Suppose most single’s think that “Perfect match!” Probably a load of garbage at this point in my life. I want out! I don’t want the pain and the suffering much longer. For at least 30 days I’ve been fighting off the want for excessive drinking, tonight considering calling up for some cocaine. I feel like I just can’t win at life any longer. Which sucks. I know I should remain sober, but feeling like a fool day in and day out, I just want to rationalize that a few drinks will numb the shit out of my paranoia (for a little while.)

Here is an old friend I call ‘magic mushrooms’
Psilocybin Bearing Fruit of the Gods

Psilocybin bearers, I wish I had enough to maintain order in my life. As much as I’m trying to be sober (and I’m allergic to cannabis) I’m happy to know that the research and legalization of magic mushrooms is coming into place in Canada.

I suppose after having “Godly Awakenings” on psilocybin, realizing my part in my chaos, how I can change and alter things (for myself) is what I must be diligent at working towards. In past mistakes, I’ve screwed up. The only way to get ahead is forward leaving behind all negativities. And negative activities. “It’s time to grow up.” I hope I can grow up, I’ve been trying for a quarter century. It’s a slow process when you’re me.

I feel great after writing this post, I hope that someone will comment below or write me through my contact page. If you like my writing feel free to follow links to where you can purchase recommended books, (most of which helped inspire my blog.)

“Powerlessness” I know I’m powerless over my past, but I can change my future.


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